Thursday, May 8, 2014

8:40 AM
So who out there loves their butt?

Deafening silence

Anyone? Anyone?

More deafening silence

OK so we are all in the same boat. Maybe your boat (butt) is "too big" or "too flat" or "too __________". Whatever the descriptor, if it is bugging you it is an issue. In my case I have been finding that my butt no longer looks firm and perky - even in my $100 Lululemon yoga pants (gasp!). Given this dire, gravity-induced situation, I have decided to tackle this issue head on this month as part of my Fitness Project. Technically this months' focus is on strength training, but I am going to throw in a little booty blasting for good measure.
The Bottom Line

My personal posterior issue has actually existed for a very long time. When I was in highschool I used to do a ridiculous exercise video called Callanetics, which combined a series of pilates and ballet-inspired moves into a 30 minute exercise routine.  One of the voice overs in the video described the "Bottom Line", or a line drawn in profile from your pubic bone back to (theoretically) the bottom of your butt.  Even at the unspoiled age of 16 my butt extended far south of the ideal bottom line, so you can only image the vertical displacement that is occurring 20 years later.  To be honest, that image of the bottom line has always haunted me as a direct measure of unattainable physical perfection.

Fast forward to last weekend where you would have found me lying prone on the couch, reading multiple, ridiculous-sounding claims in Tim Ferriss' book The Four Hour Body.  Among them was a description of three basic exercises that he guaranteed would transform my butt - kettleball swings (1x75), glute raises (3x10), and alternating leg/arm extensions (the "bird dog" or BD pose; 3x10).  As skeptical as I was, part of me couldn't help but be intrigued, I mean, who doesn't love the idea of a silver bullet to a perky butt?

So yesterday I took the requisite "before" pictures of my butt - in profile and straight on (which I will not be sharing publicly thank you) and did the prescribed ass-enhancing workout.  Other than a mild soreness, I felt fine today.  I will continue to do this workout periodically for the duration of the month and (privately) compare and report on the before and after results.  The moves aren't rocket science, not are they unique to work outs I have done before, but hey, I am willing to suspend disbelief and give it a try, one kettleball swing and one glute squeeze at a time. Anyone else up for a month of booty blasting?

To learn more about my Fitness Project, please contact me at,, or connect with me on Facebook.


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