Friday, November 8, 2013

9:15 PM
Tooth Fairies
Text from babysitter at 6 PM (received as I arrived at the gym):
"Just a heads up: A---- wants the tooth fairy to bring her a little toy dog as a surprise"

Text from husband at 6:30 PM (received just as I started spin class):
"A---- is asking for two little doggies (like the prize she won at school, one for her, one for...[her brother]) from the tooth fairy. She wrote a note and made the fairy house and is all ready for tonight."

Sigh. Two teeth into a mouthful and being the tooth fairy is already starting to feel like a significant challenge. With less than 12 hours notice, on a night I already had fully scheduled through to 10 PM, I had to find the time to locate two small (as in inch-high) plastic dogs to sneak under my daughter's pillow. The first challenge was where in the heck to get these dogs, and only slightly less complicated was when to do it.

If you are asking yourself, what happened to the tooth fairy just leaving a quarter (or $1) under the pillow and calling it good?

I will say in response, Very good question. That is exactly why this post is entitled "A Case of Parental Mismanagement".

It all started with the first tooth.

In an effort to be efficient one night last week, I asked the kids to brush their teeth while in the bath. All of a sudden I heard a gurgled scream and rushed into the bathroom to find blood and toothpaste dribbling out of my daughter's mouth and a small tooth resting on the bottom of the tub. She had literally brushed her loose tooth out of her head. She was understandably a little freaked out about the incident as well as excited about the event, as was I.  In my efforts to soothe her, I encouraged her to write a note to the tooth fairy and to place it in a ziplock bag with her tooth. She really doesn't understand money, so I thought it would be fine to have her ask for a little gift instead.

Always astute, my husband tried to intervene and simplify things. He looked at me cross eyed while I explained to my daughter about putting the tooth under her pillow. That's not how we did it in South Africa he offered we always left our teeth in our shoe.

Your shoe?!?!? Seriously? I get your point that you think the under the pillow thing could get a little dicey dude, but please come up with a better alternative than your shoe?!?!?! when you are trying to steer us in a different direction. Needless to say, neither my daughter or I bought into the shoe?!?!? alternative. We were going for broke - note written, tooth stashed under the pillow, excited child put to bed.

9 PM trip to CVS for requested "notebook" and bonus gift of gold glitter "pixie dust". Done.

Tooth extracted from under pillow and exchanged for gifts. Done.

Beaming, toothless child in the morning. Done.

You didn't think I could pull this off did you? gloat to husband. Done.

Fast forward four days and a second tooth has been extricated (who knew it happened so often?) - this time with significantly less drama.  However, the note writing, fairy house building routine was cemented into tradition by virtue of my absence from home the evening of the second tooth. Also, my gloating performance as the tooth fairy in round one apparently earned me the title forever more.

So there I was at the Dollar Store at 8 PM desperately searching for two small, plastic dogs before I had to meet my friend to climb.

Text exchange with husband:
Me: No Luck :(
Husband: Did you get something else? Something for ..[her brother] too? She specifically rewrote her note.
Me: I will try again but I am having a road block.
Husband: What do you mean a road block?
Me: F^&* typo
Husband: Can't you pick something up at Whole Foods?
Husband (worried now): Can you clarify? We need to come up with something

So there I was at CVS at 9:30 PM, having cut my climbing session short, still desperately searching for two small, plastic dogs.

Then miracle of all miracles I found this:

Ridiculous Does Not Even Begin to Describe These

 Pay $15.95 for these bad boys? Done.

Curse myself the whole way home for not just figuring out a way to leave $1 under her pillow? Done.

Beaming, toothless child in the morning. Done.

You didn't think I could pull this off did you? gloat to husband. None.

None of my daughter's other teeth are loose at the moment, despite her brother's best effort to knock one out yesterday with a block so I have some time to come up with a tooth fairy exit strategy.

Any ideas for ways to combat the slippery slope of tooth fairyness are welcome. As long as those ideas don't include shoes?!?!?

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